Episodes: March, 2019

A man in Woodenbong, Australia, wants to build a giant wooden bong to attract tourists and raise “trillions” of dollars for the community. Luke and Andrew discuss this, and Andrew discovers a crucial detail about the viral video of a Toledo news team embarrassing itself. 

A music review of a 25-year old record is creating outrage on (wait for it)….The Internet! Andrew and Luke look back at some of their own bad musical taste in the ’90s. Plus, Andrew finally meets (meats?) an Arby’s sandwich he can’t handle.

Andrew tries to resurrect one of his favorite Morning Zoo radio bits from his childhood with less than stellar results. Plus, he and Luke ACTUALLY GET TO TOP STORIES TODAY, including the emergence of Fantasy Birding and the best high school drama performance since Max Fischer’s Serpico.

Andrew picked up a piece of litter in his neighborhood that ended up being a lot more than he’d bargained for. Plus, a tweet from Sarah Silverman completely rocks Luke’s world, and Andrew is trying to figure out if he’s a team player.

Luke and Addie embark on a Segway adventure to remember! And Andrew has discovered his new favorite movie theater. It happens to be the same one where Luke spent his youth. 

Luke accidentally bought the most expensive glass of milk in New York City. He and Andrew also discuss a new Volvo that will take control of itself if the driver looks distracted.

Luke’s stay in the Barton Fink Hotel is getting weirder. Also, he just got his photo taken for a CBS ID card, and it is…not good. 

Luke and Andrew wake up in the middle of the damn night to watch the Mariners open their baseball season in Japan. Plus, the StuBot checks in from Arizona, where he’s following all the latest lotion-related airport news. 

Luke is back with stories of his LA adventures involving Kathy Griffin, her dogs, and a healthy dose of adult acne.

Famously Clean Person Hanna Brooks Olsen swings by TBTL to test her knowledge of cleaned-up movie lines and song lyrics…and also to talk about her upcoming Soup Date. Many thanks to Navya Malla of San Ramon, CA, and Aaron Taylor of Bellevue, WA, for supporting TBTL today!

Luke’s latest off-book athletic adventure leads to a run-in with a well-armed soldier. Meanwhile, Andrew’s not sure he could ever truly love a turtle. Big thanks to Shandor Whitcher of Clarkdale, AZ, and Andrea Olson of Salt Lake City for supporting today’s show!

Luke is in San Diego, so Andrew assumes that he’s hanging out with the San Diego Chicken. Which might actually be a turkey? Also, Twitter considers making a fundamental change that Luke would absolutely hate, even though it would be the best thing to ever happen for him. 

Andrew tries to help Luke with some troublesome pimples with the help of a YouTube makeup tutorial. Meanwhile, the college admissions scandal that is rocking the nation leads Luke and Andrew to reflect on the value of their own college experiences…and they hatch a plan to get into Yale. 

Today on TBTL, we learn that there are many more flavors of Bartles and Jaymes than you ever possibly imagined and that piano players shouldn’t try dog sledding. 

The Mystery of Luke’s Missing Basketball comes to a conclusion, but not after some more twists and turns. Plus, Luke talks about his illicit hiking adventures over the weekend, and he and Andrew discuss the Simpson’s decision to drop it’s iconic Michael Jackson episode. 

Things got weird on the final day of Luke’s Vegas pizza expo. Like, “old man trying to steal camera equipment” weird. Plus, Luke felt forced to eat meat, making him question his vegetarianism, and Andrew finally unveils his idea for the pizza of the future. They also discuss the last Blockbuster video store on earth and offer up some Music For Your Weekend!

Andrew is giddy after having a wonderfully aimless day in Seattle that involved hot dogs, dice, and a chance encounter. Meanwhile in Las Vegas, Luke is shoving as many pieces of pizza in his mouth while people gather to watch. They also discuss sad news about Alex Trebek’s health and take a moment to appreciate the Jeopardy! host. 

Luke is living the future in Las Vegas, where a self-driving car delivered him to a pizza convention.  Meanwhile, Andrew is buying cassette tapes in Lynnwood, Washington.