All my radio dreams coming true. ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏

A few weeks ago, I used this space to write about portmanteaus. I never realized just how relevant that discussion would soon be to TBTL. 

Hello, by the way! Andrew, here, from the Too Beautiful To Live podcast. I hope this email finds you well.

Intense animated gif of a dance party scene from Severance showing a worker looking angry at his desk while his boss dances around him. Everything is drenched in red lighting. Caption says HOW YOUR EMAIL FINDS ME.

A portmanteau, as you know, is a combination of two words smashed together into one word. You take “breakfast”, you combine it with “lunch”, and you got yourself a “brunch.” That movie you’re watching is part comedy, part drama? We call that a “dramady.” Your macaroni currently looks too edible? How about adding some ground meat and calling it “beefaroni”? 

You get it. Portmanteaus. 

And the portmanteau I’m currently interested in is a little thing we like to call “tradio”. 

Trade + Radio = Tradio. 

Some broadcasters call theirs “Radio Flea Markets.” Others prefer “On-Air Trading Posts.” The version I listened to in New Hampshire was called “The Swap Shop”, and it’s still on the air. 

And now, after much cajoling on today’s podcast, I have convinced Luke to transform one upcoming episode of TBTL into a tradio broadcast of our own! We haven’t settled on a specific date yet, but sometime this spring, possibly on a Saturday morning, Luke and I are going to livestream a special episode on YouTube and open up the phone lines. We’re looking for you, the Tens of listeners, to call in with one of three things:

  • Something you’d like to sell

  • Something you’d like to give away

  • Something you are looking for (and hope another listener can provide)*

Even though we don’t have a specific date set, I want you to start thinking about this. What’s laying around your house that you can’t quite throw away, but you’d love for someone else to have? Maybe it’s your old collection of Archie comic books. Maybe it’s your kid’s old crib that you moved out to the garage 15 years ago. Maybe it’s a little green cube given to you by a phantom in a dream who told you to “open at your own peril.” Whatever it is, we want to help you find a buyer! 

One thing to consider before you call: How can interested parties reach you? We’ll ask you for some kind of contact information on the show, so be prepared with a phone number or email address that you’re willing to share publicly. (It might be time to dust that old Hotmail address off, along with your old dresser.) 

Also tell us how folks can best do business with you.  Are you willing to ship your treasure across the country, or does the buyer have to live near you? We’ll ask you that on the air. 

I’m so excited about this show! Taking live phone calls is so much fun, and it’s a great excuse to hear your voice. Watch this space (and the podcast) for more info once we settle on a broadcast date. 

Oh, and don’t worry -- if you don’t find a buyer to take your stuff, Luke promises to buy it all himself. And at a markup no less! I’ll give you his home address and Venmo password in the next newsletter to make it a seamless deal. 

In the meantime, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. I assume you will spend it rummaging through your closets and signing up for email burner accounts in preparation for the big day. Stay safe out there! Luke and I will talk to you Monday.

-- Andrew

* Love is not an acceptable answer here.

Hey Dummies

YouTube still image of Andrew in his studio, holding his finger to his lips as if he's sipping from an imaginary tea cup

Music For Your Weekend

Animated illustrated gif of a hand adjusting a radio antennae and then a young man slowly bopping his head to music

Caitlin in Northampton, MA:

I recently came across the song “I Want You (Fever)” by Momma and IT IS SO GOOD. I *think* Andrew might really like it because it has a nice 90s-ish pop rock feel with 90s-ish female vocals, so I just had to share. 

I will try not to take it personally if Andrew does not, in fact, like it. but the top comment for the music vid is “My favourite band right now, and I’m a 40+ middle aged guy.” So that's promising, right?

Ten Of The Week

Photo of listener Cristin outside somewhere with a very involved headdress on that appears to include a big green flowery thing and the head of a Barbie doll?

What’s your name and where do you live? 
Cristin Kelly. Sydney, Australia.

When did you start listening to TBTL? How did you find the show?
Someone I used to work with was a fan of the show from the radio days, and they Tweeted about it sometimes. This was around the time I was moving to Australia with my then-boyfriend, now-husband. It was a really unsettled and lonely time for me, not knowing anyone or having a job. I started loading TBTL on my ipod and keeping Luke, Sean, and Jen in my ears as company. They made me feel less alone and connected to home. I still love that TBTL is a tether to just the everyday little things about life back in the U.S.. Awhile back, the guys went into a deep dive on pizza place salads and it just transported me to such a specific experience that isn't really part of my life now, but is so much "home," if you know what I mean.

How would your friends describe you?
Seems quiet and pleasant, but then drops in with an unexpectedly witty comment.

What was your favorite cereal when you were a kid? Is it still your fav? 
Somehow Honey Nut Cheerios got past the "no sugar cereal" house rules, so that was always the go. I'm really more of a Raisin Bran stan these days.

What food do you love to eat the most of?
Of all the amazing food we have in Sydney, the one thing no one here has mastered is the art of the strip-mall-Tex-Mex. So, when I'm visiting home, I cannot get too many bowls of salty tortilla chips and queso dip.

What’s the best or worst nickname you ever had?
When I was an intern at a theatre, my roommate was named Kristin. We were always together, so people started differentiating us as C-Ristin and K-Ristin. It still makes me happy to be called C-Ristin because it's from such a specific time and place.

If you could play one song on TBTL, what would it be?
I'm a big cheerleader for Children's & Family music, so for all the parent-Tens, I'd share the gorgeous Australian artist Angie Who, who makes beautiful music the whole family can genuinely enjoy together. Travelling Band is a love song for parents and children.

What’s a special skill that you have?
I'm the only one in my family who understands how to stack things properly - the dishwasher, the Tupperware drawer, the car when we go camping. It's good that there is one of us, really.

What’s a skill you *wish* you had?
I have NO sense of direction. I thank the tech gods for Google Maps every day because I used to just be lost A LOT. I'd love to be able to have any semblance of a compass in my head.

If you were driving down the street and you saw Luke and Andrew on the sidewalk, what would you yell at them as you drove past?
Honestly, I probably wouldn't want to say anything, but I know the rules, so I think "ahoy hoy!" would probably be the first thing to come out.

Can other Tens find you on social media? 
I write about kids and the arts, mostly on Instagram - @artsplorers_au

Hey, it’s Andrew here again. Just a reminder that you can find our Ten of the Week form here! If you’ve never been a TOTW before  (or if it’s been a really, really long time) fill out our little questionnaire. And check out our Ten of the Week archive here!

This Week On TBTL

GIF of an old-style transistor radio with little illustrated sound waves coming out of it.

#4419 Capitol Thrills
Monday, March 10
Luke and Andrew both had busy weekends involving live comedy, fancy dinners, confusing bocce, spilt water, and incredibly beautiful movies about impossibly tragic events. They also lost an hour of sleep.  

No Point Conversion: Darnald It All 
Monday, March 10
Luke and Andrew dust off the old No Point Conversion machine to discuss the whirlwind of Seahawks news that broke over the past couple of days.  

#4420 You’ll Never Believe What These Local Podcasters Just Said! 
Tuesday, March 11
Luke and Andrew have had it up to here with the Seattle Times’ click-baity headlines. They also discuss Luke’s attempt to make an onion-based recipe popular on TikTok. Andrew has some stories about thermoses and grocery stores. And they discuss the latest, somewhat controversial episode of Severance.

#4421 Like The Egg Prices Of The Sky
Wednesday, March 12
Luke is trying to figure out how and why he unsubscribed from the TBTL Newsletter, but it was probably to hurt Andrew’s feelings. They also discuss the mystery of who forced an airplane to turn around by clogging all the toilets. And they relive the 10-10-220 telephone commercials of their young adulthood. 

#4422 Sew Me, Sew Me For What?
Thursday, March 13
Luke explains the ancient art of “rattle canning” to Andrew, which reminds Andrew of a disturbing site he saw recently. They also discuss the backlash to the awful new designs on official MLB team hats…including the one that unintentionally spells something bawdy. 

#4423 Floor & Decor + The Machine
Friday, March 14
Andrew pitches Luke on an idea for a special episode of TBTL that he really wants to produce. They figure out if they can make it work. They also discuss the story of a jerk who went to Australia and snatched a baby wombat away from its mother. And we get a very detailed answer to a question about battery powered radios!

Too Beautiful To Live, P.O. Box 33687, Seattle, WA 98133, United States

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