The FedEx website says my new microphone stand is on its way, and that it should arrive at my doorstep any minute now. But it also says that the package might still be somewhere outside of Fort Wayne, Indiana.

Don’t toy with me, FedEx!

Oh, hello, by the way. This is Andrew, from the Too Beautiful To Live podcast. I hope this email finds you well.

I can’t remember the last time I was this excited for a package to show up. And, frankly, I’m not sure I can fully explain why. I’ve been using the same microphone setup since I put together my first home studio ten years ago. And it’s always served its purpose. Yeah, it’s a little bit janky, and I have to tighten it approximately 37 times per show. But I’m a simple man with simple needs, as you know, and my current system hasn’t failed me yet. 

But for reasons too boring to get into here (yes, even by my standards), I’ve decided to switch things up. I have another, arguably better, microphone that’s been collecting dust for years, and I’ve decided to make that one my new daily mic. But I can’t use it until I get a special stand for it. And that, my friends, is what I’m anxiously waiting on right now. 

I know you have a LOT of questions about my new mic stand, so I figured I’d put together a little FAQ for you. This way you can go into your weekend with all the information you need on this matter. 

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

What kind of microphone stand is it? And is it really a “stand”? 
Great question! No, it’s more of an adjustable microphone arm, if you will. 

Like a boom arm?
Yeah, exactly! 

You wouldn’t be talking about the K&M 23850, would you? That’s a classic.  
Yes, that’s exactly the one I got! Wow, you really know your mic stands. 

Well, it’s not really a “stand”. It’s more of a desk-mounted boom arm.
Yeah, that’s what I… Yes, you are correct. 

Did you get the 3/8" or 5/8" thread connector?
Oh, shoot. I don’t know. It didn’t give me a choice. I’m sure whatever comes  standard. 

Oh man, you better hope you got the right one.
I mean, I have a lot of adapters that can switch a 3/8" to a 5/8" and vice-versa, if need be. 

I don’t know. My cousin accidentally got the 3/8" and had a hell of a time converting it up to 5/8".
Listen, I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Okay, if you say so. 
Why are you harshing my buzz here? I’m just really excited to get my new mic arm and see how it works!

You mean if it works.
Sure, okay. Whatever. Do you have any other questions for me? 

What are you going to name it? 
What am I going to name what? 

Your new K&M 23850!
Oh, I don’t plan on naming it anything. I don’t really name inanimate objects, like cars and stuff. Never really been my thing. 

You named your dart-scoring computer “Dartbot.” 
Yeah, that’s true, but the software came with that name pre-programmed. 

My cousin named his “Ernie”. 
His microphone arm?

No, his dart scoring software.
Oh, I didn’t know your cousin plays darts!

Yeah, he’s pretty good, too. He came in second place last year in the Parkersburg Steel Tip Dart League. 
Is that in West Virginia? 

Sure is. In the heart of dart country. 
Well, congratulations to him. Any other questions about my microphone arm? 

I just hope you got the right size thread, m’dude. 
Okay, thank you for your concern. I’m sure it’ll be fine. 

So, there you have it! That should answer any and all questions you have about my new microphone equipment. If you have any follow-ups or a question we didn’t cover here, feel free to email me. 

In the meantime, Luke and I will talk to you Monday….hopefully, with a new mic setup!

Talk to you then. 

-- Andrew

What’s your name and where do you live? 
Stacia Colasurdo. Tacoma, WA.

When did you start listening to TBTL? How did you find the show?
I started listening to TBTL in 2008. I remember a friend of mine saying to me "Hey, there's this new show on 710am that seems right up your alley!" The rest is history.

How would your friends describe you?
I like to think they'd say I'm thoughtful, caring, intelligent, and funny. Conflicted as well perhaps. I'm not sure. I should check with them. Or maybe not? I don't really know. I'll have to mull it over.

What was your favorite cereal when you were a kid?Is it still your fav? 
Name brand Kellogg's Raisin Bran. Other brands always tasted a bit odd to me.

It seems that most people love crunchy cereal. I'm the opposite. I would add milk to the cereal and then let it sit for a few minutes and get nice and soggy. The trick was to add just enough milk to achieve the perfect gloopy consistency. It was an art, really. I came to regard myself as the Edvard Munch of breakfast cereals.

I think Raisin Bran is still one of my favorites though I rarely eat it these days.

What food do you love to eat the most of?
I'm a woman of simple pleasures and apparently have the sensibilities of a rabbit. Lately I've been on a real carrot kick. I don't know what it is about them, but they really are just a wonderful snack. Unfortunately, in spite of my avid carrot consumption, my vision has not improved and I continue to walk into furniture throughout the day and night. Maybe I should switch to another vegetable. I've heard good things about jicama.

What’s the best or worst nickname you ever had?
I haven't had many nicknames. There was a brief period back in middle school when a couple friends called me "wisely". An odd name for sure. It didn't stick for more than a few weeks, and, despite its short life, it left an impression on me. To this day when people mention nicknames I think of "wisely" and am reminded of a very cherished time of my life.

If you could play one song on TBTL, what would it be?
My brain caves in any time I'm tasked with narrowing such a huge topic down to a single selection. I imagine I'm not alone in this. For some reason when a question like this is posed to me, the stakes seem enormous. I can't possibly narrow it down to just one! The world will certainly end if I make the wrong choice!

Andrew mentioned Mingus the other day. Let's just go with Mingus. There's a song called "The Shoes of the Fisherman's Wife Are Some Jive Ass Slippers". It wouldn't make for very good podcastery, but it's a masterful piece of music.

Oh god I hope that was the right choice.

What’s a special skill that you have?
I'm one of those people who can make a meal from nothing. My dad had this skill and I'm happy to have inherited it.

Nothing in the kitchen but a stick of beef jerky and a can of black beans? I've got you covered.

Now, I won't claim that the dishes I concoct are fancy - I am the one on a carrot binge after all - but they are usually tasty enough for the likes of my wife and me.

What’s a skill you *wish* you had?
I wish I were more decisive. I'm not sure if many would regard that as a special skill, but I sure do. If not special, certainly elusive.

There's a balance between not thinking enough and thinking way too much that is difficult for me to strike. I often wait far too long to make a decision and commit to it.

If you were driving down the street and you saw Luke and Andrew on the sidewalk, what would you yell at them as you drove past?
“No mountain too tall!”

Can other Tens find you on social media? 
I have a strong desire to be on social media. It would make connecting with so many wonderful people so much easier. Perhaps one day I'll go back, but I will need a thicker skin than I have today. Maybe one of these days I'll set my social anxieties aside and meet some Tens IRL. A girl can dream

Hey, it’s Andrew here again. Just a reminder that you can find our Ten of the Week form here! If you’ve never been a TOTW before  (or if it’s been a really, really long time) fill out our little questionnaire. And check out our Ten of the Week archive here!