I find myself, once again, chagrined over something I said on the podcast this week. 

Hi, everyone! It’s me, Andrew, from TBTL. And I’m trying not to beat myself up too much over my blunder. After all, everyone misspeaks at times. It’s an incredibly human thing to do. But I wish it hadn’t happened during such an important conversation. 

I’m talking, of course, about Thursday’s podcast, in which I mentioned to Luke that I have a new twist on my “falling asleep” game. If you are (somehow!) unaware of my “falling asleep” game, allow me to explain: 

If I’m having trouble falling asleep at night, I try to think myself to sleep by coming up with alphabetized lists in my head. I pick a very specific genre or category, then try to fill it with examples, starting with A and working my way through the alphabet. 

For example, I might choose “romantic comedies” as a category, then I try to think of a romcom that begins with the letter “A”...like maybe As Good As It Gets. Then, moving on to “B”...I might pick Bridget Jones's Diary. Then maybe Crazy Stupid Love for “C”. And I keep going until I fall asleep. Then, if I’m having trouble sleeping again the next night, I try to pick up where I left off. 

Lately, though, I’ve moved away from listing movies and have been trying to come up with TV sitcoms. I’ve been slotting-in Alf and/or All in the Family for “A”. Then Benson or Black-ish for “B”. Cheers for “C”. Etc etc etc. 

But here’s where my major fumble came into play: I told Luke I could only think of sitcoms up to the letter “M” (As an old soul, I’ve been going with Maude here, but you could have your pick, from Malcolm in the Middle to Mad About You to Modern Family.)

“But that’s as far as I have gotten,” I told Luke on the show. “I can’t think of a sitcom that begins with the letter N.”

We then, unfortunately, moved onto another topic without addressing the elephant -- or maybe I should say Bull -- in the room: Night Court!

How could I forget about Night Court? I feel like it’s in the top 10 sitcoms we talk about on TBTL. We use its theme song for our popular Dream Court segment. One of my favorite audio drops is a clip of Bull saying “Ooooooooooo-kay!” And it’s very well documented that Luke has based most of his public persona on John Larroquette’s sex-crazed D.A. character, Dan Fielding. 

And yet, there I was, talking into a microphone, telling the world that I can’t think of a sitcom that begins with the letter N. For shame. 

I will say, this whole ordeal has made me appreciate you, the Tens of listeners, even more. I expected hundreds if not thousands of emails calling me out over this embarrassing slight. I expected many of them to begin with the most dreaded three words in a podcasters’ vocabulary: “HOW. DARE. YOU.” 

However, I must say, you all showed remarkable restraint. As of press time, I’ve received no such letters. (I did, however, get an email from a lawyer in Minnesota telling me they will bring legal action against me if I don’t “cease and desist” talking about my dreams on the show. This letter is currently being reviewed by the TBTL legal team.) 

The TBTL Legal Team

Thank you all so much for your patience and grace during this difficult time for me. I can’t promise you I won’t make any more mistakes in the future, but I do promise to try to be better. 

Also, let me know if you can think of any sitcoms that begin with the letter O. I have a feeling I’m going to have trouble falling asleep tonight. 

Have a great weekend, everybody! We’ll talk to you on Monday. 

Andrew

Hey Dummies

Music For Your Weekend

Andrew: What If We Give It Away? by R.E.M.

I’ll be honest -- I don’t know why I’m picking this song as my musical selection, other than the fact that it’s been bouncing around my head all week (although, I somehow usually mess up the lyrics and find myself singing “Why don’t we give it away?”, which is a slightly different question, if you’re going to be picky about it.) This is off of the R.E.M. record Life’s Rich Pageant, which I was listening to in the car with Genevieve while we were bopping around town last weekend. I think of Life’s Rich Pageant as one of the first R.E.M. albums where we can finally hear what Michael Stipe is singing, only to find ourselves just as confused as we were before we knew what the words were. Enjoy!

Listener Kathleen: Devious by softy & Wishes & Dreams

I’ve been listening to a Halloween Lowfi playlist at work and thought this is the PERFECT song for the week. It sounds just like the dying doorbell from Luke’s dry cleaner, no?

Ten Of The Week

What’s your name and where do you live? 

John Jordan. London, UK.

When did you start listening to TBTL? How did you find the show?

2015. I was living in Seattle and, over beers at Hattie’s Hat in Ballard, a friend and I lamented the lack of quality frivolous FM talk radio programs from bygone years. He mentioned a short-lived memorable one called TBLT on KIRO. I investigated to find the concept lived on in podcatchers. I’ve been along for the ride ever since!

How would your friends describe you?

A real smart-ass.

What was your favorite cereal when you were a kid?Is it still your fav? 

Honey Nut Cheerios with sliced bananas. Hands down. My grandpa was doing organic all natural honey while farmer’s market hipsters were still in diapers. He would drizzle honey on top of my Cheerios every morning when I would stay with my grandparents as a kiddo. This infused a love for the combo. Back home, my parents cut out buying the expensive organic honey by getting the Honey Nut version of Cheerios. I don’t eat much cereal these days, but I’m all about the Bee when I do.

What food do you love to eat the most of?

It might be tacos. It is, it’s tacos.

What’s the best or worst nickname you ever had?

“The Barista.” Aging myself, but we used to watch these ESPN clips of the AND1 basketball league and especially enjoy this one flea market version of Jason Williams called “The Professor.” I make a mean coffee, so “The Barista” it was.

If you could play one song on TBTL, what would it be?

Hello in There by John Prine. It’s just my favourite song and a reminder to see everyone around us and respect their existence on this rock at the same time as ourselves.

What’s a special skill that you have?

I am that person who can logistically plan out an amazing holiday trip, find amazing accommodations and “local” places to grub. I get “how did you find this place” comments quite a bit. The anticipation and planning a trip is half the fun, right?!

What’s a skill you *wish* you had?

Not procrastinating. The challenge is real.

If you were driving down the street and you saw Luke and Andrew on the sidewalk, what would you yell at them as you drove past?

”Allo!”

Can other Tens find you on social media?

I still use Instagram to, you know, post my photography. @johncjordan

Hey, it’s Andrew here again. Just a reminder that you can find our Ten of the Week form here! If you’ve never been a TOTW before  (or if it’s been a really, really long time) fill out our little questionnaire. And check out our Ten of the Week archive here!

This Week On TBTL

#4314 Smooth Creminal
Monday, October 14
Luke offers an important apology involving the sports text chain that he shares with Andrew. They also discuss the closing of the last significant K-Mart in America and the deep sadness that a New York Times photographer was able to capture in its aisles.  

#4315 Oh My Wordle
Tuesday, October 15
After hearing about controversy surrounding today’s Wordle puzzle, Luke tries to solve the game himself on the podcast. (Spoiler alerts are duly noted on the show!) He and Andrew also discuss a creepy new A.I. tool that turns complicated text into a chatty podcast. 

#4316 Clicker Bait 
Wednesday, October 16
Andrew had a transformative experience booking a haircut last week. Luke is rolling the dice on taking a red-eye flight directly to a gig. And the Tens of listeners help Luke identify the mystery WWII movie that he only remembered one small scene from. 

#4317 Steamboat Nanu-Nanu
Thursday, October 17
Luke and Andrew discuss current trends in below-the-waist fashion, noisy stomachs, glasses with built-in cameras, and what travel would be like if they were so rich they didn’t know what to do with all their money. 

#4318 Chess Exercise 
Friday, October 17
Luke and Andrew discuss cutesy terms for crimes that make them seem less crime-y. They also celebrate a recent awe-inspiring dance party at a political rally. And they talk about a famous chess player’s amazing attempts to cheat (allegedly!) at a recent match.