Greetings, TBTL newsletter subscribers, and happy Friday! I hope this email finds you well. 

As you may or may not know, I listen to a LOT of local sports talk radio. Sometimes I’m engaged fully with the content, but usually I’m sort of half-listening while I putter around the house. 

Well, this morning I heard a segment that caught my ear. The hosts were asking listeners to call in with their bold predictions for this weekend’s upcoming matchup between the Seattle Seahawks and the Arizona Cardinals. Not just any predictions, mind you, but their bold predictions.

They opened up the phone lines, and the callers were okay, I guess. One person said that the Seahawks’ quarterback was going to have the best game of his season. Another predicted that the defense will hold Arizona to a limited number of running yards. Stuff like that. 

The thing that stood out to me, though, was that these predictions -- while possibly accurate -- weren’t especially bold. They seemed optimistic at best, a little blasé at worst, and I felt like I could do better. But I was getting ready for work, and I didn’t have time to call the radio station. 

The good news for you, though, is that I remember my ideas, and I’m going to share them with you here:

ANDREW WALSH’S TOP TEN BOLD PREDICTIONS FOR THIS WEEKEND’S MATCHUP  BETWEEN THE SEATTLE SEAHAWKS AND THE ARIZONA CARDINALS:

10. Wide receiver D.K. Metcalf will record zero yards on Sunday because, according to his comments during the post-game press conference, “the holidays are about giving, not receiving.” 

9. Seahawks running back Zach Charbonnet will rush for 55 yards and take his sweet time for another 30. 

8. Geno Smith will find the end zone on the Seahawks’ first drive. He will also find a 50%-off coupon for Menchie’s Frozen Yogurt in the pocket of his sweatpants. 

7. The Cardinals will face their first quarterback controversy in years after it’s revealed that Kyler Murray has been lip-synching this whole time. 

6. The refs will call Tyler Lockett out-of-bounds for saying Wicked is overrated. 

5. Cardinals safety Budda Baker will be penalized for “hands to the face,” and also “hands to the shoulders” and “hands to the chest” when he’s caught making out with an opposing player.

4. Kyler Murray will end the first half by taking a knee. His coach will later make him give it back. 

3. The turf monster will rear its ugly head at a critical moment in the fourth quarter. It will also open up for the first time about its unfortunate nickname. “I wish people would just call me Greg.” 

2. After realizing his punting crew and field goal unit have been getting too much attention lately, Seahawks coach Mike MacDonald will smooth things over by declaring, “all my teams are special teams.”

1. The Seahawks will win 1000 to 1. 

———————

There you have it! Technically, I’m not legally permitted to offer gambling advice in this newsletter. But if you live in a state where sports betting is allowed, I highly, highly recommend you place some wagers based on my list. Trust me, you’ll thank me later. 

That’s all the time I have today, unfortunately. But Luke and I will be chatting at you again on Monday. Have a great weekend, everybody! 

-- Andrew

Hey Dummies

Music For Your Weekend

Andrew: Boyfriend by Best Coast

I poked my head into a record store when I was out-and-about yesterday. I didn’t plan on buying anything, I just wanted to take a peek at what they had in their new arrivals section. But  my well-intentioned plan of not spending money evaporated when I saw an early pressing of the debut album by Best Coast. I was obsessed with this record around the time I first moved to Seattle -- it came out in 2010 -- but I hadn’t revisited it in years. It’s both sort of strange but also sort of perfect to listen to on a wintery day in Seattle. The lazy, summery sounds of Southern California waft up here like a warm breeze to combat the damp, chilly air of the PNW. Soak it in!

Listener Reverend Chris: Show Me How by Men I Trust

I have chronic insomnia and am always looking for something to put in my ears that is both soothing and interesting. My latest find is Men I Trust, a Canadian indie band featuring the vocals of Emmanuelle Proulx. For a weekend of meandering through the icy woods, I recommend "Show Me How". You'll know right away if it is your thing and if it is, it will become your new obsession too.

Ten Of The Week

What’s your name and where do you live? 

Chris Hamlin. Worcester, MA.

When did you start listening to TBTL? How did you find the show?

I started listening in 2015 when I moved out of my home state (Maine) and away from almost everyone I knew. I was listening to a lot of podcasts, and was pretty into Live Wire. Live Wire hadn't put out a new episode in a couple weeks, so I went to the iTunes podcasts page and typed in "Luke Burbank" to see if I was subscribed to the wrong feed or something. I wasn't, but this other show popped up. I heard an episode where Luke was sitting in a kiddie pool drinking cocktails while Andrew downed a whole box of popsicles, and I was hooked.

How would your friends describe you?

Opinionated, a problem solver, sometimes too loud and too verbose. A good Dad.

What was your favorite cereal when you were a kid?Is it still your fav? 

I yearned for Corn Pops, because my mom would never buy them for us. Also the 90's era "Gotta Have my Pops!" ad campaign really worked on me.

Now I mostly eat oatmeal, grape nuts or wheat Chex, but I do like frosted shredded wheat, as a treat.

What food do you love to eat the most of?

Sichuan food. When there are 10 different dishes on the table it's so easy to keep grabbing another bite, until I way overdo it.  Also chocolate covered pretzels.

What’s the best or worst nickname you ever had?

Ugh. I spent most of my senior year of high school hanging out with a group of AP English Mean Girls who called me "Chrissy Ham-Ham"

If you could play one song on TBTL, what would it be?

Tricycle by Lunch Money.  It's just so much fun and it has a line referencing pneumatic tube technology.

What’s a special skill that you have?

Designing and making things. I used to be an engineer, but now that I'm a homemaker I build a lot of little tools, toys, furniture, and useful things for the home and garden.

What’s a skill you *wish* you had?

I wish I could play the piano! I sing a lot with my kids, but I feel like it would be easier to learn new songs if I could play an instrument.

If you were driving down the street and you saw Luke and Andrew on the sidewalk, what would you yell at them as you drove past?

I met Luke in Philly and seriously, the only thing I could think of to say was "Hi, I'm Chris".

Can other Tens find you on social media? If so, how?

I'm on the Slack! Chris in Worcester.

Hey, it’s Andrew here again. Just a reminder that you can find our Ten of the Week form here! If you’ve never been a TOTW before  (or if it’s been a really, really long time) fill out our little questionnaire. And check out our Ten of the Week archive here!

This Week On TBTL

#4349 That’s Jared! 
Monday, December 12
Luke is delighted by a young NBA player who is singing Tiky-Toky songs and painting his nails and being who he wants to be. Andrew offers a review of The Penguin. And Russell Wilson’s cringy “Mr. Unlimited” character may get the last laugh after all? 

#4350 Bandying About Benny Blanco
Tuesday, December 3
Turns out, both Andrew and Becca are internet celebrities this week while Luke…sadly is not. But Luke will be under the bright lights later this week, which is a problem, given his worsening eye situation. 

#4351 Flock My Life
Wednesday, December 4
Luke and Andrew are both hot off respective trips to the doctor’s office, where Andrew advocated for himself and Luke met the coolest doctor in the world. Andrew also finally has a bucket list item and a gripe about neighborhood road signs. 

#4352 “It’s Not Right!”
Wednesday, December 5
A brand new grocery store opened in Andrew’s neighborhood yesterday, leading him on an adventure that can best be described as a rollercoaster of emotion punctuated by some good old fashioned stampy-ness.

#4353 It’s Not A Krang! 
Friday, December 6
Luke’s swollen eye infection -- which is not filled with pus! -- made things difficult on the set of a CBS shoot yesterday. He’s now hoping for some kind of medical resolution today, possibly with the help of Jeremy Renner. He and Andrew also discuss the dark, bizarre case of the mystery man who assassinated a health insurance exec in broad daylight -- and how people are reacting online.