I really needed a win, here.͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ ͏‌ 

To paraphrase the immortal words of Paul Giamatti: I really needed a win, here.*

Hey everybody! Welcome to the latest installment of the TBTL newsletter! I hope this email finds you well.

Photo of a fat cat sitting at a table with a bunch of plates and food and a napkin around its neck and the caption HOW YOUR EMAIL FINDS ME

One of the biggest pitfalls of talking into a microphone for 7 to 10 hours every week is knowing that you’re going to get some things wrong. From relatively small mistakes like mispronouncing the name of a city to completely butchering famous historical moments, my list of gaffes is long and growing. Combine this with my rapidly atrophying brain (a brain that, if we’re being honest, wasn’t particularly robust at the height of its power) and my habit of sharing stories that reside in the deepest recesses of my cobwebbed memory, and you’ve got yourself a real minefield of misstatements. 

This leads us to  yesterday’s podcast, where -- for some reason -- I mentioned a snippet of a scene that I remembered from the 1959 Walt Disney film, The Shaggy Dog. At least, it was a scene I thought I remembered. 

“The only thing I recall about that movie,” I said to Luke, “Is that there’s a scene where a boy -- a boy who is maybe dog-obsessed? -- and he’s sitting on a porch, or sitting outside somewhere, and it looks like he’s reading a book, but then it’s revealed that inside the book is a comic book about dogs? Or a magazine celebrating the dog lifestyle?”  

Okay, let’s put aside the phrase “celebrating the dog lifestyle,” because I don’t know what that means, either. But the rest of my claim holds true. I don’t know why this insignificant moment sticks in my memory so specifically. Maybe it’s because it was the first time I ever saw that trope employed. I was a little kid, sitting criss-cross-apple-sauce in front of the family television, my eyes widening a bit when I learned that you can trick adults into thinking that you’re reading something serious when you’re actually reading something frivolous. 

I was thinking more about this after the show yesterday, and my curiosity eventually got the better of me. So I found a (completely legal, completely legit**) copy of The Shaggy Dog online. I downloaded it to my computer and started scrubbing through the timeline. After one pass through, my heart sank. I could find zero evidence of this scene existing. 

This is, of course, deeply deeply unimportant. Nobody besides myself cares if I properly recalled a 30-second snippet of a film I saw 40 years ago. But for some reason, this information lodged itself into my brain and stayed there for decades. And I honestly found myself a bit shaken at the idea that it never really happened. Did I invent the whole thing? Did I see this scene in a different movie and misremember where I saw it? Could the internet possibly help me with this? 

I doubted Google could offer much assistance with a question so vague, but I had to try. I wrote “1960s movie kid hiding dog book in textbook” into the search engine and kind of hated myself for typing something so desperate and futile. 

EXCEPT IT WASN’T FUTILE. 

My friends. That longshot of a longshot of a Google search connected me with an astoundingly detailed, blow-by-blow recap of The Shaggy Dog. It was posted five years ago on a blog called “The Great Disney Movie Ride: One girl's quest to analyze every Disney film ever made.”

Exactly halfway through the dizzyingly detailed the recap, I came across the following words:

“The next morning, Wilson is furious to catch Moochie reading a book about dog training, hidden behind an Uncle Scrooge comic.”

I don’t know who Wilson is, and I don’t know what a Moochie is, but my god, this was the most beautiful sentence I’ve ever read. And I’ve read the complete sonnets of William Wordsworth!***

I fired-up my copy of The Shaggy Dog again, this time using the blog post as a guide, and I found the exact scene I was looking for. It appears at the one-hour, five-minute mark of the film. I uploaded it to YouTube for you:

YouTube screencap of a kid reading an Uncle Scrooge comic book from the black and white move The Shaggy Dog

It would be gauche for me to take too large of a victory lap here, but I have to admit that I’m proud of how many things I got right about this: It shows a boy, sitting on a porch, pretending to read something he’s not reading. It also involves a comic book and a book celebrating the dog lifestyle, as I so eloquently phrased it yesterday. 

I know this email was too long. And I know that nobody cares about this as much as I do. But when your brain is as bad as mine is, little victories like this can feel like a renewal of life. 

Also, I’ve heard the phrase “shaggy dog story” many times in my life, but I’ve never known what it means. Once again I turned to Google, and here’s what I learned: 

“A shaggy-dog story is an extremely long-winded anecdote characterized by extensive narration of irrelevant incidents and terminated by an anticlimax. In other words, it is a long story that is intended to be amusing and that has a silly or meaningless ending.”

Chef’s. Kiss.

I hope you all have a great weekend filled with your own minor personal victories. Luke and I will talk to you Monday! 

— Andrew

————————————————————————————————--

* While there’s no actual evidence that Paul Giamatti ever said “I could really use a win here!,” I remain convinced that it’s his most iconic movie line ever. 

** I’m not currently taking any follow-up questions about this. Thank you. 

*** No, I most certainly have not.

Hey Dummies

Still image from YouTUbe of Andrew talking in his studio,  his hands gesticulating wildly.

Ten Of The Week

Photo of listener Greg, standing outside somewhere, maybe a festival or fair, wearing big over-the-ear headphones and a red, white and blue baseball cap.

What’s your name and where do you live? 
Greg Lauzon. Deerfield, MA.

When did you start listening to TBTL? How did you find the show?
Maybe the name intrigued me, but many years ago I somehow found myself listening to this guy who reminded me of one of my brothers and was trying to breed goldfish with two other hilarious people in a radio studio. I couldn't believe it was real, and indeed it was too beautiful to live. A proud ride or die for sixteen years!

How would your friends describe you?
Funny and weird. Maybe in the same sense.

What was your favorite cereal when you were a kid?Is it still your fav? 
Whatever had the most sugar and the most stuff to read on the box. It was not Raisin Bran then, but it is today.

What food do you love to eat the most of?
Walnuts. Cashew nuts. Macadamia nuts. Pecan nuts. Peanuts. Et al.

What’s the best or worst nickname you ever had?
I did Outward Bound in Colorado. Since I liked to clamber over rocks I got named Goat. I no longer do that, and I'm super scared of heights (and breaking bones).

If you could play one song on TBTL, what would it be?
Probably something from my now-defunct band. We are still on Bandcamp.

What’s a special skill that you have?
Not really a skill per se, but boundless curiosity. I'm also a super competent copyeditor and get to work on books by the likes of Bob Woodward and Michael Lewis. Not to brag.

What’s a skill you *wish* you had?
The ability to CRUSH karaoke. Because I am way too insecure to do it otherwise.

If you were driving down the street and you saw Luke and Andrew on the sidewalk, what would you yell at them as you drove past?
Obviously "Hey, dummies!" But that could get complicated.

Can other Tens find you on social media? If so, how?
I'm shy but not unfindable.

Hey, it’s Andrew here again. Just a reminder that you can find our Ten of the Week form here! If you’ve never been a TOTW before  (or if it’s been a really, really long time) fill out our little questionnaire. And check out our Ten of the Week archive here!

This Week On TBTL

Illustrated animated gif of a woman holding her hand to her ear as a soundwave approaches.

Here are the TBTL episodes from the last two weeks, since I skipped the newsletter last week:

#4359 I’m 0 For Everything 
Monday, December 16
Luke had a meltdown during a CBS shoot this weekend and he’s not feeling great about it. At all. And Andrew learns more about the "Yoda" in his yard.  

#4360 Farts All The Way Down
Tuesday, December 17
Luke is living out the plot of The Perfect Storm, only he’s doing it on land with an unwieldy rain tarp. Meanwhile, Andrew is intrigued by a new approach to selling paper towels. 

#4361 The JARCy Boys
Wednesday, December 18
Luke and Andrew stumble on their new favorite publication in a newspaper column about bidets. Plus, Andrew is vindicated and validated about a recent news story that he dismissed.  

#4362 A System Of Down
Thursday, December 19
Luke’s mind is blown over a new drug commercial song that takes the artform to new levels. He and Andrew also discuss used pillows, mushy rice, and the giant hole in Andrew’s ceiling. 

#4363 Baring Our Solstice 
Friday, December 20
Luke and Andrew compare the great lengths they each go through to connect their Bluetooth speakers every day. Plus, the mass panic over drones in the New Jersey night sky leads Andrew to discover the “Seattle Windshield Pitting Epidemic” of 1954. 

#4364 The Laureate Of Letterboxd
Monday, December 23
Nick Jarin joins Luke and Andrew to introduce his list of movies to play in the background at your holiday party. They also debate -- old school AM radio-style -- the best time for a server to take your plate at a restaurant. 

#4365 Holla At Sheboygan 
Tuesday, December 23
After MUCH anticipation and an entire episode of build-up, Nick Jarin is back with his official Top Five Movies To Play In The Background Of Your Holiday Party. He also has some strong opinions about casting Muppets in more mainstream movies. 

#4366 Oh My God, We Are Creshing It! 
Wednesday, December 25
Luke celebrates Christmas with some personal travel news that he’s quite excited about. Andrew almost ruins the holiday by bringing up a nog-related family dispute. And they finally weigh-in on the Elvis stamp debate of 1992. 

#4367 He Works Hard, He Grumps Hard
Thursday, December 26
Luke and Andrew come up with the perfect way to close-out the TBTL year. But are they professional enough to pull it off? They also examine the proud tradition of hiding comic books inside text books. 

#4368 I’ll Be Slanged
Friday, December 27
Luke finds himself in an awkward conversation with someone he wrongly assumed had very different political views than himself. He and Andrew also tackle one of the Top Stories that they skipped in 2024: Oxford’s “Word Of The Year.” Andrew has issues with it! 

Too Beautiful To Live, P.O. Box 33687, Seattle, WA 98133, United States

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