Dictionary.com defines a hedge as “an act or means of preventing complete loss of a bet, an argument, or an investment, with a partially counterbalancing one.”

But that has literally nothing to do with what we’re here to talk about today.

Hello, by the way! This is Andrew, from the Too Beautiful To Live podcast. I hope this email finds you well.

The hedges we’re talking about today are the gigantic ones behind my house that -- if everything goes according to plan -- I’m trimming the heck out of right now as you read this. If you happened to see the photo that accompanied last Thursday’s podcast, you understand the need. These bushes are certifiably Out Of Control. 

What you’re seeing in the photo above is the cross-section of my backyard hedges. That’s how wide they are, not how long they are. For now. 

I say “for now” because I am the proud new owner of something they call a “chainsaw on a stick.” Well, actually, they call it a pole saw; I’m the one who calls it a chainsaw on a stick. Because that’s what it is. And I’m about to fire that baby up for the very first time and start hacking away. 

I have trimmers that I use to keep things generally tidy, but I need to do something more drastic. I plan on cutting these beasts back three or four feet. Or five. Or six. We’ll see what happens once I start cutting. 

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Hey Andrew! You talk a lot about your hedges. Do you plan on writing a memoir about your experience with them? And if so, what would you name it?” 

Wow, great question! I hadn’t really thought of that. But off the top of my head, here are a few possible titles:

Living on the Hedge

The Hedge of Tomorrow

From Hedging Bets to “Hedges? You Bet!”: The Andrew Walsh Story

The Bush Years: A Guide to Overgrown Topiary and American Politics

Above the Trim

Staying Trim With Andy!

Leaf Your Troubles Behind (Oh, wait, that’s already a great book by our friend Karen! Check it out!)

Gone to Prune: How to Say Goodbye to Overbearing Flora

Hard to De-Leaf: One Man’s Descent into Gardening Madness

Hedge Lord

That’s all I can think of for now. But if you have any ideas, zip them my way! 

Oh, speaking of books, you might have heard me talking recently about my friend Eric’s new book called The Hardest, Longest Race: Henry Ford and the Cross-Country Contest That Changed America. I just finished it, and I’ve got to say, it’s an incredible read! And I’m not just saying that because Eric’s my friend. In fact, I’m a terrible friend. I’d never recommend something based solely on my relationship with someone. Have you ever heard me recommend my buddy’s Belly cover band, Donya Tonelly? No, because they are terrible, and I would never endorse them. But Eric’s book? Heck yes. 

Eric did make one mistake when planning his publicity tour, though: He invited me to interview him about his work this Monday at Brick and Mortar Books in Redmond. Despite this obvious blunder by a first-time author, I’m still honored to be asked,  and I will do my best to make him proud. I have a million things I want to talk to him about after reading his book. It’s about a 1909 auto race between four car companies looking to carve out a name for themselves back before most Americans had even seen a car. 

The race begins in New York City and ends in downtown Seattle during the World’s Fair, and I am not exaggerating when I say my heart was pounding as I read about the cars rumbling across the finish line near Yessler and 2nd Ave in my beloved city exactly a century before I would arrive here myself. The book is really, really incredible. I hope you’ll check it out. And I hope you’ll join us Monday night, if you can! 

And that’s where we’ll have to leave things today, Friendos. I’m about to unbox my new chainsaw-on-a-stick and get to work. I hope you all have a great weekend! Luke and I will talk to you on Monday, no matter how many fingers I have left at that point. 

-- Andrew

This is, as they say, a very good dog.

What’s your name and where do you live? 
Shannon Moore. San Jose. 

When did you start listening to TBTL? How did you find the show?
2016! My coworker introduced me to the show. I even met a fellow 10 at my new job while wearing some TBTL merch.

How would your friends describe you?
Genuine, independent, and thoughtful.

What was your favorite cereal when you were a kid?Is it still your fav? 
I was not a big fan of cereal. We had Raisin Bran or Honey Bunches of Oats in my house (which was the better option.) Now my favorite is definitely Cinnamon Toast Crunch, which is the only right answer.

What food do you love to eat the most of?
Pasta! Or any carb really. If I could have any bread with every meal that would be my top choice.

What’s the best or worst nickname you ever had?
“Shannon the Cannon”, courtesy of my mother lol.

If you could play one song on TBTL, what would it be? 
Maybe for Once by Evan Honer (small time folksy band.) Great vibe and every song is relatable.

What’s a special skill that you have?
Sobriety! Maybe not a skill, but I’m definitely most proud. I have over 10 years clean through Narcotics Anonymous

If you were driving down the street and you saw Luke and Andrew on the sidewalk, what would you yell at them as you drove past?
Nothing. I would be way too shy and overthink the entire scenario so I would just scream to myself in my car and wonder if I hallucinated it

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