I have a Halloween dilemma. ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏

I’m feeling a lot of pressure right now. And it’s almost all candy-related.

Hello, by the way. This is Andrew, from the Too Beautiful To Live podcast. I hope this email finds you well.

Animated gif of a mouse holding a tiny trick or treat bucket receiving a little piece of wrapped candy from a human hand

As you might have heard, today is Halloween, and one of the popular traditions on Halloween, for kids especially, is to dress up in a costume and walk door-to-door in the neighborhood, asking for candy. It’s called “Trick-or-Treating,” and there’s a lot written about it online, if you’re interested in learning more. 

I did not go trick-or-treating when I was a kid. I grew up in rural Ohio, where the roads were long and winding, the sidewalks were non-existent, and the neighbors lived far apart from each other. Maybe that’s why I’m not particularly interested in the custom as an adult. 

Genevieve, meanwhile, loves Halloween, and she usually makes our home very inviting for the neighborhood kids. But she’s going to a costume party tonight, leaving me in charge of candy distribution this year. And not just candy distribution, mind you, but candy procurement as well. This is the first time I’ve ever had to think about which kinds of candy to buy for the young mooches of North Seattle. 

I could go the obvious route and pick up one of those omnipresent bags of mixed popular mini-candies -- Kit Kats, Nestle Crunches, Hershey’s bars, etc. But that seems a little basic and boring to me. (Plus, the kids will already have hundreds of those in their bags.) But I don’t want to get too creative and offer some rare candy that only a child aboard the Dawn Treader would find appealing. 

Animated gif from Chronicles of Narnia showing a boy asking for Turkish Delight

This is one of those times I cannot rely on the Golden Rule to help me out, either. If I were to “do unto others as I would have them do unto me,” all the kids who come up to our door would walk away with malted milk balls and black licorice, which is probably not what the young TikTokers of Gen Alpha are munching these days. (I assume they’re into some sort of candy that you can also wear as jewelry on your Crocs?) 

So I’m going to head to the store now to see what my options are. And while I still don’t know exactly what I’ll be purchasing, I can tell you what I won’t be including in our serve-yourself candy bucket: Butterfingers. I am still not convinced that they are even a real candy. My theory is that they were invented as a trap to identify aliens pretending to be humans.

“Here, try a Butterfinger! It’s candy!”

“Yummm, this tastes good! And feels good in my mouth!”

“Get ‘em, boys.” 

Screen grab of the farmer guy from Men In Black who is secretly an alien.

Loves Butterfinger, probably

Anyway, I’ll let you know what I end up choosing on the podcast next week. In the meantime, I hope you all have a safe, flavor-blasted Halloween. Luke and I will talk to you on Monday

-Andrew

 

Music For Your Weekend

Animated gif of cartoon people in hot pants dancing with skeletons

Andrew: Shadow Of A Doubt by Sonic Youth

I don’t listen to Sonic Youth nearly as much as I used to. There were long stretches of my life where I hardly listened to anything else. But while me and the band have grown apart in my middle age, it’s hard to resist their early albums around this time of year. Both Bad Moon Rising (1985) and EVOL (1986) are perfect for walking around my neighborhood just after dusk on a chilly October night, when fall is still exciting and winter doesn’t seem too intimidating yet. With all due respect to Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, this is my Halloween music. 

Listener Alexa:  Garbage People by Wimps

I can’t believe I didn’t think to suggest this song by one of my all time favorite Seattle punk bands earlier. Thank god the garbage talk never ends. 

If you’d like to submit a “Music For Your Weekend” recommendation, just email me here!

 

Hey Dummies

YouTube still image of Andrew in his studio,  waving at the camera and talking into the mic
 

This Week On TBTL

Still image of the Frankenstein guy (Herman, maybe?) from the Munsters listening to a headset and holding an antiquated microphone device near his mouth.

#4584 Full Frontal Casket 
Monday, October 27
Something happened to Luke this weekend that has him considering a very big change in the hair department. He also learned his new favorite joke from an Uber driver. And Andrew had a moderately shocking moment in a record store. 

#4585 I’m An Ideas Festival, Michael
Tuesday, October 28
Luke and Andrew consider their chances of winning the brand new (and already-controversial) Golden Globe For Podcasting. Plus, Luke got up at the crack of dawn today to find out how the tofu gets made. And Andrew is dealing with an especially painful Wordle loss. 

#4586 It’s The Donkey For Me!
Wednesday, October 29
Luke and Andrew realize (with the help of a listener) that they were missing a pretty big piece of information about a Luke Wilson commercial they talked about at length yesterday. Plus, Andrew has some questions about a plethora of radio ads he’s been hearing that feature a former reality TV host. They also discuss the two oldest McDonald’s burgers in existence. 

#4587 Berry Me!
Thursday, October 30
Andrew has been on a heck of a journey with blueberries lately. Luke can relate. They also discuss the story of a newspaper confusing Bill DeBlasio, the wine merchant, with Bill de Blasio, the former mayor of NYC.

#4588 Dots Cool
Friday, October 31
Luke tries to help Andrew with a Halloween conundrum. They also try to learn more about the child on the front of an obscure cereal box. Plus, a beloved Seattle nightclub is closing some of its venues as live entertainment struggles around the country.

 

Ten Of The Week

Photo of listener Chris, holding two young children, one in each arm, and standing next to a fence in front of a large river or body of water.

This space is reserved for you! If you’d like to be featured in an upcoming TBTL Newsletter, just click here, answer a few fun questions, and you’ll be a podcast newsletter star! 


You can check out prior Tens of the Week in our archives.

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