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As Luke and I discussed on Wednesday’s podcast, three people in Southern California filed claims with three different insurance companies over three damaged luxury cars that they claimed were ruined when an aggressive bear got inside. To sell the story, they actually dressed up as the bear in question and filmed themselves doing the deed. Two of the insurers bought their story, but the third one was suspicious. Now they will stand trial for the scheme. There’s been plenty of good reporting on this story, with reputable news sources interviewing law enforcement officers, insurance investigators, and wildlife experts. However, we at TBTL realized that -- to our knowledge -- nobody had reached out to the actual brown bear community to find out how they are feeling. So I hopped on a plane and flew down to Southern California to see what I could find out. I was able to interview one local bear, and our conversation is below. It’s been edited slightly for length and clarity. TBTL: Can you tell us your name and where you’re from? Bear: Yeah, I’m Danny Brown, and I live right here in Lake Arrowhead. Lived here all my life, in fact. TBTL: What was your immediate reaction when you heard about this fake insurance scheme? Bear: I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t even know about it until you told me. You say they dressed up like bears and then destroyed their own cars? For insurance money? TBTL: Yeah, that’s pretty much the long and short of it. Bear: Damn. That does piss me off a little. Ooops, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to swear. Are we live? TBTL: No, this is a newsletter. Why does the story make you angry? Bear: Well, wouldn’t it tick you off a little? We bears already have a pretty bad reputation, you know, what with the exaggerated stories of maulings and honey stealing and whatnot. And now they’re blaming us for shit we -- sorry -- for stuff we didn’t even do? TBTL: I noticed you said -- Bear: Wait, hold on a sec. They’re not just blaming us for something we didn’t do. They went out of their way to commit this crime and purposely make it look like a bear did it? How could I not be angry about that? Come on. TBTL: I noticed you said humans “exaggerate” stories of bear attacks and other encounters. Do you feel, generally speaking, that bears have an unfairly negative reputation? Bear: Do I feel like… Are you kidding me right now? Do you not think bears have a bad reputation? TBTL: I’ll be honest, I’ve been pretty afraid of bears my entire life. But you’re the first bear I’ve ever actually met. So I see your point. Bear: Exactly. And am I scary to you? Are you scared right now? TBTL: Well… Bear: WELL? TBTL: Well, yeah, I guess a little. But I think that proves your point. You haven’t given me any reason to be scared of you. But I’m a little nervous. Yeah. Bear: See? This is what I mean. You’re scared of what, exactly? That I’m going to maul you? TBTL: No, not necessarily. Bear: What, then? TBTL: I guess I’m a little nervous that you’re going to steal my honey. Bear: Wait, you have honey? Unfortunately, dear reader, that’s where our conversation abruptly ended. Because at that point in the interview, Mr. Brown mauled me pretty badly and stole my honey. It was some of my best honey, too. And I’m in a lot of physical pain right now. But that should not negate his overall point: It’s true that bears have a pretty bad reputation amongst humans -- earned or otherwise -- and it’s not exactly fair for humans to make up more egregious behavior to blame on bears. Honestly, I’d be pretty steamed, too, and so would you. So, if you need me, I’ll be at the UW physical therapy clinic at Northgate the next few weeks. It’s usually an outpatient program, but they’re making an exception for me. Meanwhile, I hope you all have a wonderful, drama-free weekend. Hang onto your honey, and Luke and I will talk to you Monday! -- Andrew
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